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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25747273">That Dammed Goose!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Leeu/pseuds/Little_Leeu'>Little_Leeu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Untitled Shinra Goose [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Humor, Mystery, Other, Quote: Honk (Untitled Goose Game), Swearing, Untitled Goose Game References</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:22:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,717</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25747273</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Leeu/pseuds/Little_Leeu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The chronological day by day story of events of when a Goose infiltrated Shinra HQ and caused Chaos.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Untitled Shinra Goose [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>110</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Day 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>HR Report: Incident 9735</p><p>Day 1</p><p>Reports of items going missing have increased in the last few days. Items include: </p><p>	Sunglasses<br/>
	USB drives<br/>
	Pens<br/>
	Lunches<br/>
	Notebooks<br/>
	And someone’s left shoe</p><p>An email has been sent out to demand that these items be returned to their rightful owners. The 16th floor meeting room was locked, trapping a group of 15 people inside for 10 minutes. One person from Admin has reported a Goose has been spotted within Shinra HQ with concerns that this may be an escaped experiment from the science department. This has subsequently been denied.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Day 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>HR Report: Incident 9735</p><p>Day 2</p><p>Some items have turned up in unexpected places and yet more personal belongings have gone missing. These include:</p><p>	ID cards<br/>
	Ties<br/>
	Gloves<br/>
	Hats<br/>
	Tsengs fountain pen (death threats have been issued)</p><p>The left shoe was found in the 5th floor girls bathroom. The Shoe belonged to a male accountant. Café staff have complained about the amount of times they have to pick up the dining chairs. The 16th floor meeting room is no longer accessible as the doors have now become permanently locked.</p><p>Reports of a Goose stalking the corridors of Shinra HQ have increased, though mystery Goose has yet to be seen on the CCTV cameras. The Turks have been asked to investigate. This was declined with advise that they are not that kind of Pest control.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Day 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>HR Report: Incident 9735</p><p>Day 3</p><p>There are reports of missing packages throughout the Shinra HQ. Tsengs Pen was found in the SOLDIER barracks. This has caused some tension as frosty emails between the SOLDIERs and the Turks have been exchanged. Fears that tensions may escalate to violence the two <s>factions</s> departments have risen.</p><p>A Goose has now been spotted on the CCTV and unbodied honking has been heard in the ventilation system. The building’s temperature has fallen to below 0 degrees Celsius (32 fahrenheit). Facilities is unable to gain access to the ventilation control system as somehow it has been permanently locked. They are also unable to confirm the source of the honking. Staff reminded of the ShinRa way and told to get on with it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Day 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>HR Report: Incident 9735</p><p>Day 4 </p><p>More items have been taken from the Turks, including:</p><p>	Reno’s head clip<br/>	Rude’s right glove<br/>	Tseng’s Pen, again<br/>	Reno’s favourite mug</p><p>The Turks have since been stalking the halls of the SOLDIER department. Tension has been on the rise. <br/>The canteens and cafés have stated that they will no longer open until the culprit stealing cutlery has been found and punished. Facilities have reported missing tools and there cupboards have been locked shut. The buildings temperature is still below 0 degrees (32 Fahrenheit) staff have been advised to bring in coats, hats, and scarves. The Goose has yet again been spotted on CCTV carrying screw drivers and other odd items. An email has been sent out advising to keep on the lookout for the Goose.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Day 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>HR Report: Incident 9735</p><p>Day 5</p><p>10:00Am:	</p><p>The goose still continued to evade capture. People started to demand to work from home, but the directors continued to remind people to be strong and trust in Shinra. Anger started to be directed at the science department who continue to deny responsibility for the Goose. </p><p>11:45am:</p><p>Professor Hojo has stated he has laid a Trap out for the Goose with the intention to capture the bird and study it. </p><p>1:00pm</p><p>Professor Hojo has not been seen or heard from in over an hour and a half. His assistants have started to worry. </p><p>2:00pm</p><p>Professor Hojo’s glasses have been located in the hallway to specimen storage. Building wide search initiated.</p><p>3:00pm</p><p>Professor Hojo has been locked in a specimen container within his laboratory. His assistance have freed him from the container.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Day 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>HR Report: Incident 9735</p><p>Day 6</p><p>A <s>War</s> dispute has broken out between the SOLDIERs, Science department and Turks. Non-essential personnel have been told to work from home as the three departments work it out. The dispute started when certain items of importance, mysteriously found in other departments offices. </p><p>These items include:</p><p>•	Professor Hojo’s notebook, which was discovered with an upended bottle of ink favoured by Tseng, leader of the Turks.<br/>
•	Genesis book: Loveless, which was found in the Science department on Professor Hojo’s desk.<br/>
•	Tseng’s fountain pen was found lodged inside a SOLDIER target dummy. </p><p>HR have been trying to reason with the departments as we believe the goose is responsible. Responses so far have included an email from Reno:</p><p>Dear HR</p><p>Fuck you…</p><p>Reno</p><p>And a sword stabbed through the HR departments door. As well as invitations from Professor Hojo to participate in experiments. All HR staff have been added to work from home list. The goose so far has been making a nest in the Café.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Day 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Time skip is due to the...  <s>War</s> Dispute</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>HR Report: Incident 9735</p><p>Day 12</p><p>Morning: The <s>War</s> dispute between the SOLDIERs, Science department and Turks has been resolved, though tensions remain high. Tseng has been informed that although it may not be a part of the Turks Job to remove in house pests, they must try and remove this Goose. </p><p>
 We were advised at 11am that Reno and Rude had successfully trapped and removed the Goose. A mass Email has been sent out to all departments that the Goose has been successfully removed.
</p><p>
1 PM: Rude has come to lost &amp; found asking if any of his sunglasses have been handed in as he’s missing all of them. 
</p><p>
1:45 PM: Feint honking heard in the foyer.
</p><p>
 2 PM: An email has been sent out from Tseng indicated that the Turks are now stuck within the their office. Maintenance has been sent out to resolve the issue.   </p><p>
 4pm: Goose is seen again with door a handle. It is assumed that this door handle may in fact be from the Turks Office.
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Day 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>HR Report: Incident 9735</p><p>Day 13</p><p>Weapons department is on lockdown due to a sweeper malfunctioning. The sweeper appears to be missing a set of screws needed to keep the machines AI in check. Scarlet, the Director of the weapons department, ordered some Guards to “switch off” the sweeper however, this proved unsuccessful. Their families have been informed of their losses. </p><p>CCTV showed the Goose heading towards the Weapons department via the ventilation system. It was shown an hour later leaving with screws within its Bill. The screws were later located in Scarlets <s>footrests</s> bodyguards locker. He has not been seen since Scarlet was made aware of this.</p><p>Scarlet has been planning with Heidegger the director of public security on how to deal with this recent set back in our Mighty company known as ShinRa.<br/>

People working for this department have not been given absent of leave and are expected to come in as planned and find a desk somewhere.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Day 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>HR Report: Incident 9735</p><p>Day 14</p><p>It has been decided that we must send in someone to deal with The Goose, Professor Hojo is now dubbing Specimen Honk 1. Heidegger has agreed that a SOLDIER may be more preferable to the Turks to take down this horror Goose. Sephiroth SOLDIER first class, the best among the SOLDIER’s has been sent to deal with The Goose. </p><p>Sephiroth was sent in to deal with <s> The Goose </s>Honk 1 this morning at 10:10 am.</p><p>At 4:00 pm No news of <s> The Goose </s> Honk 1 or Sephiroth has been Reported. Professor Hojo has asked for the remains of Specimen Honk 1. </p><p>5:00 pm Reno of the Turks found Sephiroth locked in staff toilets, with his sword lodged against the cubical door, shivering in fear talking about the Honking, the dreaded Honking. </p><p>Facilities later reported the toilets were out of toilet paper, entirely. One roll of toilet paper was later found outside the SOLDIER barracks’.<br/>
A board meeting has been arranged to discuss other options on how to deal with <s>The Goose </s>Honk 1. </p><p>Other objects reported missing or moved:<br/>
</p><p>
•	Cutlery missing from the SOLDIER barracks cafeteria was located inside a Shredder bot.<br/>
•	A red fountain pen was located inside the staff laundrette, dying Hojo’s lab coat pink.<br/>
•	Shredder oil spilt on emergency stairs: 6 injury reports, with 2 hospitalizations reported<br/>
•	A display motorcycle found toppled with more cutlery nearby</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Day 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>HR Report: Incident 9735</p><p>Day 15</p><p>11:43: An Emergency report has come through that <s>The Goose</s> Specimen Honk 1 has reached The Presidential floor. It has yet to gain access to President Shinra’s rooms. We have sent guards to search for <s>The Goose</s> Specimen Honk 1, due to the fact both the Turks and SOLDIER’s refuse to work on removing the pest. </p><p>12:25: News has come through that Some Keys have been stolen. <s>The Goose</s> Specimen Honk 1 has been chased however the Guards have been locked into a Lift and somehow been sent down to the lowest floors. We just hope <s>The Goose</s> Specimen Honk 1 does not work out how to use these keys.</p><p>13:00: <s>The Goose</s> Specimen Honk 1 has somehow gained access to the President's office. Items that have gone missing include:</p><p>•	A fancy paperweight<br/>
•	Half the screws to the President's chair - Facilities notified, a more secure chair needed.<br/>
•	A fountain pen</p><p>14:23: The fountain pen was located when VP Rufus Shinra slipped up on it in the hallway.</p><p>15:30: Alarm triggered near President Shinra’s penthouse. </p><p>15:45: We have managed to remove <s>The Goose</s> Specimen Honk 1 from Shinra HQ!</p><p>17:00: President Shinra’s Golden Gun has now been added to the list of missing items. <s>The Goose</s> Specimen Honk 1 is suspected.</p><p>
  <span class="u">10 days later</span>
</p><p>Thankfully, it appears this nightmare has now passed. <s>The Goose</s> Specimen Honk 1 has not been seen again.</p><p>The Presidents Golden Gun, however, is still missing. A new handgun has been commissioned and is being supplied by the weapons department.</p><p>Many other goings have been blamed on <s>The Goose</s> Specimen Honk 1, with facilities calls dropping by 30% and HR calls regarding injuries dropping by 10%. However, some staff have been reprimanded due to false claims.</p><p>Many consider the case closed, but the board have ordered a security audit. Board member Heidinger has been quick to boast it was his men who removed <s>The Goose</s> Specimen Honk 1, though many suspect it had done what it came for and left willingly.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is the end!</p><p>Thank you so much for reading. I hope you have enjoyed it :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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